What this Weblog is all about

I started this weblog because I was badly shaken by the general level of discussion on the Catholic weblogs known generally as St. Blogs. In my opinion only a handful actually demonstrate Christian charity. Even the comments boxes of these were often filled with vitriolic hated. Certainly an “inquirer” or someone returning to the faith would be put off and would simply not want to be part of a religion whose adherents so completely and obviously fail exhibit any form of charity to anybody.

In my dating efforts a few years ago, I tagged along to attend a few Sunday meetings for Christian Singles sponsored by one of the local megachurches. It was pretty well-organized. The Christian Singles meetings were open to all “self-declared” Christians of any denomination and there was no pressure to join the host megachurch. It was intended solely to allow marriage minded Christian singles to meet potentially compatible members of the opposite sex. We would meet and share with one another our thoughts on various significant issues. Of course, religion was important to everybody, so we all talked (a lot) about religion and its significance to each one of us. I found out that there were a lot of Christian denominations. Apparently the largest of these was “Recovering Catholics.” Oh, there were a few Methodists, Episcopalians, Lutherans, Baptists, Evangelicals, otherwise unspecified general Protestants, and even a few Catholics like me. We were all vastly outnumbered by those who considered themselves “R.C.”

As each “recovering Catholic” told their background, a familiar pattern emerged. Each one had been treated badly by fellow Catholics, both lay and religious. Not just once, but often. They were frequently told, “If you don’t like it, then leave.” They were “thumped” repeatedly not with the Bible, but with the Magisterium. They were told they weren’t good Catholics and they were going to Hell. They were preached at and condemned. Not one of them left the Church because of women’s ordination, abortion, celibacy or the teaching on the Real Presence. Some left because of claimed marioloatry and some left because of inability to regularize a divorce and remarriage situation but most left because of a lack of charity. Bad preaching, bad example, bad apologetics, or just mean spirited, whatever you want to call it. Whatever it is, we have failed millions of our fellow Catholics.

Nobody left the Church because of doctrinal issues. Almost every single case could have been prevented. What do we do about this? I don’t have all the answers. I do know that the most effective evangelization is the way we live our lives and the way we treat others. If we live according to the Gospel, no matter what happens to us--rich, poor, healthy or nont, fortunate or suffering from misfortunes--there is a light of goodness and peace that shines through. So much so that other people want some of that. That light is often missing on all those Catholic Blogs who emphasize "apologetics" over charity.

Now recently, in case you hadn’t heard, a new pope was elected. Responses ranged from this to this.
(see bonus comment: “Let's grill some heretics too ... the Grand Inquisitor is on charge. Pope Bad Cop the First.”)  That'll fill the churches--the megachurches!

Now I have to say I sympathize with Bad Catholic and thought her post was both funny and insightful. Her follow up posts were excellent and uncharacteristically refreshing in the Catholic blog circles.

I mention this because I often point out particularly egregious examples of unchristian commentary and behavior in St. Blog’s Parish. The papal election brought out some of the worst, and I posted a misogynist example of that below. I’m not shy about that. I collect “gems” of bad Catholic behavior and post the most outrageous here. The megachurches don't need our reverse evangelization help.

However, I need to recognize good commentary when it happens. Here is one from a blog that I have criticized in the past.

This is a great discussion on the Pope. Just as there was never going to be a Pope in favor or ordaining women, or in favor of abortion, there was also never going to be a Pope who would say “War is good, we need more electric chairs or unbridled Capitalism is good.” In short, “conservative,” in Catholic circles means something else than “conservative” in political circles. If conservative means a return to the words of Jesus, then I’m a conservative.

I’d only add one thing to the excellent comment, which should have been published at Busted Halo. You may recall the broughaha over the last presidential election where many bloggers simply said it was a mortal sin to vote for Kerry. Here’s what the new pope actually said about voting for a pro-abortion candidate. First, he condemned the candidate’s views on abortion in no uncertain terms. But, he was more careful in his analysis of a voter’s actions compared to a politician’s actions.

 Here’s what he said: “A Catholic would be guilty of formal cooperation in evil, and so unworthy to present himself for Holy Communion, if he were to deliberately vote for a candidate precisely because of the candidate’s permissive stand on abortion and/or euthanasia. When a Catholic does not share a candidate’s stand in favour of abortion and/or euthanasia, but votes for that candidate for other reasons, it is considered remote material cooperation, which can be permitted in the presence of proportionate reasons.”

There were a lot of proportionate reasons in the last Presidential elections and it is telling that the future Pope didn’t even begin to discuss them all. Instead, he relied on each of us to vote according to our own consciences. He could distinguish between those who performed abortions, those who promoted them as part of a political program and those who vote for politicians.  Not everything in the world is a slippery slope. Imagine that! A pope treating Catholics as adults! God bless the Pope! May he always do God’s will! And moer "unapologetic" posts like the above.

Comments

[penni]

I do know that the most effective evangelization is the way we live our lives and the way we treat others. If we live according to the Gospel, no matter what happens to us--rich, poor, healthy or nont, fortunate or suffering from misfortunes--there is a light of goodness and peace that shines through. So much so that other people want some of that. That light is often missing on all those Catholic Blogs who emphasize "apologetics" over charity.

outstanding. thank you for the insightful post.

[Bad Catholic]

Great post. I did sort of choose to ignore what I knew about Ratzinger's actual comments regarding voting for pro-choice politicians in favor of what I thought was "righteous indignation." I just wanted to be mad. Turned out that wasn't doing anybody much good, least of all me. But I think sometimes God lets us go through that stuff for a while just so we can see how much better off we are doing things His way.

[Unapologetic Catholic]

To Bad Catholic;

I actually burst out laughing when I saw your original post! Still, I can only applaud your integrity in dealign with your own thoughts and the addressing fairly the comments made. Of all the discusions on the Papal election, you multiple post discussion is really the best! I was hopingthe link would send soem curious people your way.

[Steven Riddle]

Dear Unapologetic,

Unusually affecting and timely. I had a rough time over at another place where people were trying to tell me the only proper way to form my conscience. My strike-back was to declare my freedom from the tyranny of reason claque. Probably not one of my smarter moves, but definitely heart-felt. One reason so many people leave is that there are so many willing to inform them of their sins and the "reasoning" behind them in order to move them back into the faith. This is simply alienating. The way to move someone back into the faith is to love them, unconditionally--no matter what you may think of the ideas they may hold. An idea is not a person, nor does it have the value of person, a child of God. The entire world of ideas is not worth a single, living, breathing human being. Period. And that's what we have to remember when we're talking to people who are hurting--not Catholic doctrine, not who's right and who's wrong, but rather there is a person who needs to be heard. Thank you for this poignant reminder.

shalom,

Steven

[Elena]

Nobody left the Church because of doctrinal issues. Almost every single case could have been prevented. What do we do about this?

Oh, I'm not so sure about that. The Catholics I have seen leave the church may have had an incident or an event that was the "last straw" or just the excuse to leave... but there was a doctrinal issue of some sort or other, usually birth control.

And sometimes it's neither doctrinal or a bad experience. My sister-in-law left because she says she got one letter too many from the parish asking for money - so she was out of there. Well that's hardly mistreatment, but it was a good excuse to leave.

My sister left because the local Evangelical church was friendlier, more welcoming and the Catholic church seemed colder to her and she didn't know anyone. Not really mistreatment either and in fact it is the study of the doctrines that brought her back!

Another sister-in-law and brother-in-law simply left because they didn't know their Catholic faith and the spouses they chose were more enthusiastic about the churches they went to, so these two left just to be compliant I guess.

[Talmida]

The way to move someone back into the faith is to love them, unconditionally--no matter what you may think of the ideas they may hold.

Steven, well said. I think the Church is like a family - you can get mad at them and fight with them and disagree with them and even stay away for years, but they're still there. And they're still your family!!

And if they are worthy of the name family, they still love you and want you back, warts and all. No matter how angry you get at family, they're still the ones who forgive and welcome you back to the table.

I guess what is hard for some people to accept is that all families have black sheep, malcontents, crazy uncles and weird cousins. No family is perfect, and yet the idea of family is. Just like the CHurch.

[Jocelyne]

I am very selective about the Catholic and other Christian blogs I read precisely for the reasons you mention. The mean-spiritedness I have encountered is absolutely mind-boggling.

I am reminded of two quotes:

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mohandas Gandhi

Choose being kind over being right, and you'll be right every time.
- Richard Carlson

[Claude Muncey]

Your quote by Gandhi, Jocelyne, reminded me of another favorite -- when asked about Western civilization he replied "I think it would be a good idea."

Also Anne Lamott: "You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

[Joanne]

Glad I stopped by. This was an insightful post, and a prompt to examine my conscience and behavior.

I have a 20 year old son who has left his practice of the faith, although I believe he is still somewhat Catholic in his views and morality. He cites two reasons: lack of a warm personal connection from anyone once he started attending Mass on his own. And an influx of foreign priests whose English is especially difficult to understand.

On the first point, he is a young man with depression and severe social anxiety, and his facial expression and body language can often put people off if they don't see the fear behind it. For young people, the church only seems to warmly welcome the clean-cut preppy, cheerful sort who toes the line.

We must do a better job of reaching the young people at the margins. Youth programs that target the sheltered, pious sort of young adult are going to just alienate more kids.